When the angel came to you and said “Greetings”
How far did your heart sink?
Or did it stay put in your chest, pounding so fast and hard
You felt it would pound right out of you
Spilling your heart’s blood all over the floor?
When he told you that you would conceive and bear a son,
Did you think of your fiancée?
Did you think of all the times you wished you could kiss him?
All the times he looked at you and your cheeks grew red and warm?
Did you hope it would be his son?
And then when the angel said it would be the Son of God
When you bowed your will and offered your body
Were you still frightened?
What did it feel like?
When your belly grew?
When he moved inside you for the first time?
When your feet grew puffy and you waddled around?
Did you tell your mother? Or did you just wait for her to figure it out?
Did she scream at you, tears filling her eyes and coursing their angry way down her cheeks?
Did you tell your fiancée? Or did he notice the swelling in your middle?
What did his eyes tell you as he stormed away from you?
Were they sad or furious or an aching mixture of both?
Did your heart break when he said it was over between you?
And when he came back and told you that things were going to be fine
That he would still marry you
That he would raise your baby as his own
That he still loved you
Did you kiss him then?
And the Romans made their decree
And you and your fiancée traveled to his hometown
And the baby was big inside you
And your back was aching
And you couldn’t see your feet over the bulge in your belly
When the first contraction rolled over you, were you frightened?
Did you know what was happening?
Did you cry and scream?
Did your fiancée hold your hand?
And when your son entered the world
In your baptism of pain and hurt and anguish and tears
You held him in your arms, new, small, little,
Did you know that heaven rejoiced and angels sang?
That all of history coalesced around your son
Covered in blood?
Do you know who your son is?